Chasing Your Dreams (Pt. 1)
A conversation about goal setting, plan making, wishes, and dreams.
Part 1
For as long as I can remember I've been chasing my goals and aspirations. As many of you know, my dream to become a professional ballet dancer became a reality when I was 18 years old. I will never forget the moment that I was awarded a contract with The Washington Ballet at the Youth America Grand Prix competition. It was a story book ending to the journey that I had taken to get me there. My wish of becoming a professional dancer was the driving force that impacted every decision I made up until that point, and didn't leave me throughout my entire career or the chapters in my life since.
Growing up in New York I was exposed two of the best companies in the world, American Ballet Theatre (ABT) and the New York City Ballet (NYCB), at a young age. I remember one of the first performances I saw of ABT's live was Sleeping Beauty with Julie Kent dancing 'The Lilac Fairy' and Paloma Herrara as 'Aurora'. I was truly captivated by their bravura and beauty. From that point on I idolized these dancers and fantasized about what my life would be like if I ever were to become a dancer for ABT.
At the age of 14 I had already been taking ballet very seriously for more than 5 years, but the impetus for knowing that I had to make it my profession came during a summer I spent in Tuscaloosa, Alabama that year to attend ABT's summer intensive. Companies like this and prestigious ballet schools hold summer intensives around the world in order to scout new talent and provide dancers with a unique look in to what life is like as a professional dancer. A dancer attending these intensives has a vigorous schedule packed with classes from early morning through the evening. In the U.S. large companies, such as ABT, host satellite intensives all over the country, the New York location being the most coveted. So when I was accepted in to their Alabama program I knew I had to attend. I packed my bags (was given my first cell phone..hello Nokia brick phone) and headed off to have one of the biggest life changing experiences of my life.
During the year I studied at a small ballet school in Long Island, New York, and these 3 weeks were the longest and furthest I had ever been away from home on my own. In the program I was able to train with former dancers from ABT, and the best part for me was that I was excelling! I started in one of the lower levels in the program that year but was featured slightly in our final performance. I was completely enamored and transfixed by every little bit of information my teachers said. When I returned home the "ABT binder" and vision board begun. It was then my mission to become a dancer for them exclusively! This shaped every decision I made thereafter. I would train with any ABT alum I could and seek out advice from the dancers from my school that went on to professional ballet careers. When I wasn't at school or in the ballet studio you could find me stretching while watching every single VHS (that strange thing before there was YouTube) there was of ABT out there. I was obsessed! After that first summer in Tuscaloosa I would return the previous summer and jumped to being in the highest level of the program, marking the considerable growth I had made during the year. Then finally, when I was 16, I was accepted to the NY location! I pinned the acceptance letter to my vision board with tears of joy in my eyes.
That summer was incredibly intense. The level I was placed in to was the second highest in the entire program and now has over 7 current company members (2 of them now being principal dancers for the company). I was an extremely small fish in a big pond. I felt unnoticed for the first time in many years, but instead of feeling defeated I just continued to work harder. The stepping stones were to get in to ABT's school and then ultimately get a contract from there. After my 6 weeks in the summer program in New York I auditioned for the school. Weeks later I received the letter that I was waitlisted (which means that there were very slim chances of getting a spot). It's something I'm incredibly grateful for though because it led me to begin my next chapter with the Ellison Ballet professional training program. Edward Ellison molded me in to the dancer I wanted to be. Youth America Grand Prix is an international ballet competition (that has its own Netflix documentary...go check it out) and an amazing way to be seen by the top companies in the world, and the ultimate prize...a contract to ABT's Studio Company (the stepping stone to the main company). Being one of the chosen students to compete in the competition, I spent hours of relentless practice in the studio for months rehearsing the two solos I was to perform. One was a classical variation from Don Quixote (a challenging virtuoso bridesmaid variation), and a contemporary solo "Carmen" choreographed by my teacher. Both solos were no more than 2 minutes long...that's just 3 minutes to make an impression on judges that could change your entire life!
Not only did I spend hours upon hours rehearsing, I also spent an exorbitant amount of time listening to my variations' music and visualizing the best possible outcomes. I would perform them both flawlessly in my head every time, and if I visualized something bad happening I would start all over again, not wanting that to be the lasting image in my mind. I wanted success to feel like second nature. Part of the competition was also comprised of classes that competitors would be invited to take if a company or school director wanted to see more of you. I was thankfully invited to take these classes and be seen by multiple directors, thus being able to show off more versatility in my dancing than just the 3 my variations could allow. To my amazement one of the classes I was invited to take was company class with ABT's Studio Company. This. was. it! My moment to finally make my dreams a reality! I had a great class and felt proud of how I held my own amongst the other studio company dancers. All of my hard work was paying off and I could already see my life in those studios.
The end of the competition came. I had performed both solos and did pretty well. I made it to the top 25 in the senior women's division and got the opportunity to perform my classical variation a second time in the final round. More stage time is exactly what you need to impress the judges and directors. My nerves got the best of me the second time around though and I made some small fumbles I didn't normally make. Suddenly everything felt like it was slipping through my fingers. What I forgot to mention was that in order to give everything I had to my ballet career, I convinced my parents to allow me to complete my senior year of high school online. I put all of my eggs in this basket and this competition was my last chance to seeing if all of that sacrifice was for nothing. By the time awards night rolled around I was feeling depleted. I had gotten such great feedback but nothing to show for it! I still had no contract and no accolades.
At the competition if a school or director was interested in you, your number would be posted on a board, notifying you that "you had mail". You can imagine my surprise when I arrived at the venue only to see my number on that board. I grabbed my mom by the arm and rushed to the table, saying to her as I hurriedly made my way there, "it must be a mistake I'm too old to get a scholarship". My heart was racing as I said my number to the person manning the mail (and my fate). It seemed like a lifetime as she was sorting through the letters before finally finding mine. She handed it to me and I rushed to a quiet corner to read it with my mom. It was a letter from Septime Webre, the artistic director of The Washington Ballet saying that he loved my performance in "Carmen" and wanted to offer me a contract in Washington Ballet's Studio Company. I felt blindsided in the best way possible and immediately became a puddle of tears in my mom's arms. Having the awards announcer read aloud my name and my award later that evening is still to this day one of the proudest and happiest moments of my life, and why I share this long winded story with you. It's one of my most beautiful personal examples of all of the good that can come when you commit to your goals. I wasn't chasing money or fame, I was chasing my passion, and it's something I will never ever regret.
My journey to becoming a professional dancer is the guide post for how I approach any wish that I have both big and small, and I want to share those techniques (and other statistically proven ones as well) with you all so that all of your goals seem more attainable too. I've learned that with the combination of wanting the right things, focusing on the positive outcomes, identifying the obstacles, and formulating the right plan, anything is possible.
(more to come in Part 2!)
Part 1
For as long as I can remember I've been chasing my goals and aspirations. As many of you know, my dream to become a professional ballet dancer became a reality when I was 18 years old. I will never forget the moment that I was awarded a contract with The Washington Ballet at the Youth America Grand Prix competition. It was a story book ending to the journey that I had taken to get me there. My wish of becoming a professional dancer was the driving force that impacted every decision I made up until that point, and didn't leave me throughout my entire career or the chapters in my life since.
At the age of 14 I had already been taking ballet very seriously for more than 5 years, but the impetus for knowing that I had to make it my profession came during a summer I spent in Tuscaloosa, Alabama that year to attend ABT's summer intensive. Companies like this and prestigious ballet schools hold summer intensives around the world in order to scout new talent and provide dancers with a unique look in to what life is like as a professional dancer. A dancer attending these intensives has a vigorous schedule packed with classes from early morning through the evening. In the U.S. large companies, such as ABT, host satellite intensives all over the country, the New York location being the most coveted. So when I was accepted in to their Alabama program I knew I had to attend. I packed my bags (was given my first cell phone..hello Nokia brick phone) and headed off to have one of the biggest life changing experiences of my life.
During the year I studied at a small ballet school in Long Island, New York, and these 3 weeks were the longest and furthest I had ever been away from home on my own. In the program I was able to train with former dancers from ABT, and the best part for me was that I was excelling! I started in one of the lower levels in the program that year but was featured slightly in our final performance. I was completely enamored and transfixed by every little bit of information my teachers said. When I returned home the "ABT binder" and vision board begun. It was then my mission to become a dancer for them exclusively! This shaped every decision I made thereafter. I would train with any ABT alum I could and seek out advice from the dancers from my school that went on to professional ballet careers. When I wasn't at school or in the ballet studio you could find me stretching while watching every single VHS (that strange thing before there was YouTube) there was of ABT out there. I was obsessed! After that first summer in Tuscaloosa I would return the previous summer and jumped to being in the highest level of the program, marking the considerable growth I had made during the year. Then finally, when I was 16, I was accepted to the NY location! I pinned the acceptance letter to my vision board with tears of joy in my eyes.
That summer was incredibly intense. The level I was placed in to was the second highest in the entire program and now has over 7 current company members (2 of them now being principal dancers for the company). I was an extremely small fish in a big pond. I felt unnoticed for the first time in many years, but instead of feeling defeated I just continued to work harder. The stepping stones were to get in to ABT's school and then ultimately get a contract from there. After my 6 weeks in the summer program in New York I auditioned for the school. Weeks later I received the letter that I was waitlisted (which means that there were very slim chances of getting a spot). It's something I'm incredibly grateful for though because it led me to begin my next chapter with the Ellison Ballet professional training program. Edward Ellison molded me in to the dancer I wanted to be. Youth America Grand Prix is an international ballet competition (that has its own Netflix documentary...go check it out) and an amazing way to be seen by the top companies in the world, and the ultimate prize...a contract to ABT's Studio Company (the stepping stone to the main company). Being one of the chosen students to compete in the competition, I spent hours of relentless practice in the studio for months rehearsing the two solos I was to perform. One was a classical variation from Don Quixote (a challenging virtuoso bridesmaid variation), and a contemporary solo "Carmen" choreographed by my teacher. Both solos were no more than 2 minutes long...that's just 3 minutes to make an impression on judges that could change your entire life!
The end of the competition came. I had performed both solos and did pretty well. I made it to the top 25 in the senior women's division and got the opportunity to perform my classical variation a second time in the final round. More stage time is exactly what you need to impress the judges and directors. My nerves got the best of me the second time around though and I made some small fumbles I didn't normally make. Suddenly everything felt like it was slipping through my fingers. What I forgot to mention was that in order to give everything I had to my ballet career, I convinced my parents to allow me to complete my senior year of high school online. I put all of my eggs in this basket and this competition was my last chance to seeing if all of that sacrifice was for nothing. By the time awards night rolled around I was feeling depleted. I had gotten such great feedback but nothing to show for it! I still had no contract and no accolades.
At the competition if a school or director was interested in you, your number would be posted on a board, notifying you that "you had mail". You can imagine my surprise when I arrived at the venue only to see my number on that board. I grabbed my mom by the arm and rushed to the table, saying to her as I hurriedly made my way there, "it must be a mistake I'm too old to get a scholarship". My heart was racing as I said my number to the person manning the mail (and my fate). It seemed like a lifetime as she was sorting through the letters before finally finding mine. She handed it to me and I rushed to a quiet corner to read it with my mom. It was a letter from Septime Webre, the artistic director of The Washington Ballet saying that he loved my performance in "Carmen" and wanted to offer me a contract in Washington Ballet's Studio Company. I felt blindsided in the best way possible and immediately became a puddle of tears in my mom's arms. Having the awards announcer read aloud my name and my award later that evening is still to this day one of the proudest and happiest moments of my life, and why I share this long winded story with you. It's one of my most beautiful personal examples of all of the good that can come when you commit to your goals. I wasn't chasing money or fame, I was chasing my passion, and it's something I will never ever regret.
My journey to becoming a professional dancer is the guide post for how I approach any wish that I have both big and small, and I want to share those techniques (and other statistically proven ones as well) with you all so that all of your goals seem more attainable too. I've learned that with the combination of wanting the right things, focusing on the positive outcomes, identifying the obstacles, and formulating the right plan, anything is possible.
(more to come in Part 2!)
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