My Final Assignment - Week 3
Consciousness and Privilege
Struggles and triumphs during my 3rd week of savoring.
This quarantine period has been filled with so many ups and downs. One thing I know for sure is that this pandemic has put a pause on our normal lives. With that comes a natural shift in priorities and a great deal of uncertainty. Due to this disturbance we have also been inundated with a lot of noise. People are constantly posting on social media about what they baked that day or what new workout they're trying. Even worse though, are the people that are getting swept up in all of the false information and hate that is swirling around on the internet. In light of the resent events, most recently being the murder of George Floyd, I felt that it was necessary to use my savoring strategies to hit pause for a moment and be fully present. Being uncomfortable isn't something that most people do well. In fact it is more common to run the other direction when things get hard. As a child we are frequently shielded from having to see a horrible event. We're instead given a generalization of the collective horror that we are going through by labeling the "good guys" and the "bad guys". Over time we are gradually introduced to realities like Santa not being real (sorry to break your heart if you're still a believer), or the Tooth Fairy being just a figment of our imaginations. With those security blankets falling to the way side we are simultaneously introduced to the not-so-pretty things in the world, like racism, hatred, and bigotry.
Growing up in Huntington, New York, I was around some of the most privileged white families in the country. My childhood was beautiful and simple. I never once had to be afraid of playing in the street with my friends, or staying out after dark. It makes me so incredibly sad to think that that has never been a reality for some children, even in 2020. On the contrary, some children are feared based on the color of their skin. For centuries white americans have labeled black americans as the "problem", while all along the "problems" have stemmed from the oppression of African Americans.
A viral story that is the perfect example of this is one that Shola Richards (as pictured on the right) shared on Facebook. As a black man in Los Angeles, he told the story about how he never walks in his neighborhood alone. He always takes his daughter and dog in tow so that he is seen as a doting father and an animal lover. The fact of the matter is is that people see what they want to see, and without the image of his daughter and sweet pup walking beside him, he would instead be portrayed as a threat to his community just because he is black. Sometimes we believe it's easier to keep our blinders on and only see what is directly in front of us. What that does is create a fear of what could lie beyond their scope. It has been so incredibly upsetting to witness is how out of touch most Americans have become with reality. As a society we are incredibly quick to judge a situation just because something popped up on our news feeds, instead of: hitting the pause button; inquiring in to the situation more; and then taking the time to craft a thoughtful and non-confrontational response. What instead ends up happening is that we are barraged with a slew of misinformed posts that creates further animosity and promotes the very hatred we are trying to prevent. Which then ultimately leads to an unproductive back and forth all because on one of the sides resides the strong desire to keep their world "orderly" and "nice".
One of the greatest things I've ever learned was the art of inquiry. This has provided me with the ability to stop and ask myself when I am feeling most vulnerable, whether or not I have all of the information. Let me give you a really quick shortcut...we never have all of the information. No one, and I mean no one, can ever predict the future or be all-knowing. Although many have come close, that just simply isn't the case, so why not dig a little deeper? For example I see many people incredibly critical of the rioting and protests that are currently going on over George Floyd's death. We are so quick to judge and say that the protestors have no reason to act that way. One of the things I've chosen to do, as a privileged white female, is to educate myself. Today I wanted to dig a little deeper in to the origin of race riots and found some interesting information, for example:
"for many decades, the instigators and participants in race riots were usually white, not black, and the purpose of the rioting was to assert white domination rather than to express black anger and frustration. During Reconstruction and for a while thereafter, race riots often occurred during elections, as white mobs sought to intimidate the newly enfranchised black voters and to regain power from politicians who would give Blacks an equal opportunity in post–Civil War society. Riots in Memphis, Tenn.; New Orleans, La.; Charleston, S.C.; and Eufaula, Ala., led to dozens of African-American deaths." - tolerance.org
Isn't it sad how little has changed? We haven't allowed people to properly express their anger and frustration over extremely horrible acts of racism. White Americans should instead be an ally to the black community by sharing that anger and frustration with them through empathy and understanding, because at the end of the day we will never understand what they have experienced. I do hope that we can come to a place where we as a society see everyone as equals. That we are so in touch with reality that we welcome whatever comes our way. And when something bad does happen, that we don't try to blame it away as something that someone else has inflicted upon us. It's ok to accept that life won't always be presented in that perfect package that we think it's supposed to be in. In my mind, it is not only well within our power to create this kind of change, it is our responsibility.
Changing our Consciousness
Our minds are incredibly powerful. Within a fraction of a second they can transport us to somewhere completely different than the environment that we're in. With that being said, our central nervous systems can only process so many things at once. According to studies that Mihaly Csikszentmihalyi, references in his book Flow, "we can manage at most seven bits of information --such as differentiated sounds, or visual stimuli, or recognizable nuances of emotion or thought--at any one time, and that the shortest time it takes to discriminate between one set of bits of information and another is about 1/18 of a second." Which means that there is a lot that is left for our minds to fill in the blanks for, which also tends to be the root of the problem. For this reason a person can make themselves happy or miserable regardless of their external circumstances. In one of my earliest posts I referenced the pie chart of what things determine our happiness. Half of that pie chart is our genetics and 40% is comprised of our thoughts and actions. While the tiniest fraction is comprised of external factors. Changing our mindset and consciousness therefore dictates our happiness.
However, for many people in this country, they are too busy making sure they survive. The fact that I have been able to focus my attention on savoring for the past three weeks is a luxury that many don't get to experience right now. In an NPR podcast Governor Walz of Minnesota commented on how Minneapolis was voted both the 2nd happiest place in the United States and among the highest ranking states in higher education, personal incomes, home ownerships, and life expectancies. Once you look at that through the lens of the black community in Minnesota however, it is amongst the worst states in the country. As the governor also noted, it is during times like these that the layers are peeled back to reveal the injustices that are still widely prevalent.
If you're like me, you may have been asking yourself all weekend what you could do to effectively spark change. My suggestion is that we all start with your own mindset by redefining your priorities. Studies show that if you are goal setting that the things that you pay attention to will naturally reflect what you are trying to achieve. I can truly say from experience that this is true. Since taking on this final assignment to savor more for a month, I have noticed that I approach even the most mundane things completely differently. No longer do I race through meals, but I take time to appreciate them. When it comes to my relationships I have prioritized being present so that I can enjoy the conversations and savor them more, rather than attempting to multi task while I'm on a call with someone. So I think it's time that we focus on equality, kindness, empathy, well-being, and compassion as a nation. Could you imagine how much could change in even a month's time? I bet that the social landscape would begin to look quite differently...
Resources
https://www.today.com/parents/dad-explains-viral-post-why-he-won-t-walk-alone-t182797
"Flow" by Mihaly Csikszentmihalyi
https://www.tolerance.org/node/112413
https://podcasts.apple.com/us/podcast/npr-news-now/id121493675#episodeGuid=84169333-1e68-4bd9-9618-17d019dde058
Struggles and triumphs during my 3rd week of savoring.
This quarantine period has been filled with so many ups and downs. One thing I know for sure is that this pandemic has put a pause on our normal lives. With that comes a natural shift in priorities and a great deal of uncertainty. Due to this disturbance we have also been inundated with a lot of noise. People are constantly posting on social media about what they baked that day or what new workout they're trying. Even worse though, are the people that are getting swept up in all of the false information and hate that is swirling around on the internet. In light of the resent events, most recently being the murder of George Floyd, I felt that it was necessary to use my savoring strategies to hit pause for a moment and be fully present. Being uncomfortable isn't something that most people do well. In fact it is more common to run the other direction when things get hard. As a child we are frequently shielded from having to see a horrible event. We're instead given a generalization of the collective horror that we are going through by labeling the "good guys" and the "bad guys". Over time we are gradually introduced to realities like Santa not being real (sorry to break your heart if you're still a believer), or the Tooth Fairy being just a figment of our imaginations. With those security blankets falling to the way side we are simultaneously introduced to the not-so-pretty things in the world, like racism, hatred, and bigotry.
Growing up in Huntington, New York, I was around some of the most privileged white families in the country. My childhood was beautiful and simple. I never once had to be afraid of playing in the street with my friends, or staying out after dark. It makes me so incredibly sad to think that that has never been a reality for some children, even in 2020. On the contrary, some children are feared based on the color of their skin. For centuries white americans have labeled black americans as the "problem", while all along the "problems" have stemmed from the oppression of African Americans.A viral story that is the perfect example of this is one that Shola Richards (as pictured on the right) shared on Facebook. As a black man in Los Angeles, he told the story about how he never walks in his neighborhood alone. He always takes his daughter and dog in tow so that he is seen as a doting father and an animal lover. The fact of the matter is is that people see what they want to see, and without the image of his daughter and sweet pup walking beside him, he would instead be portrayed as a threat to his community just because he is black. Sometimes we believe it's easier to keep our blinders on and only see what is directly in front of us. What that does is create a fear of what could lie beyond their scope. It has been so incredibly upsetting to witness is how out of touch most Americans have become with reality. As a society we are incredibly quick to judge a situation just because something popped up on our news feeds, instead of: hitting the pause button; inquiring in to the situation more; and then taking the time to craft a thoughtful and non-confrontational response. What instead ends up happening is that we are barraged with a slew of misinformed posts that creates further animosity and promotes the very hatred we are trying to prevent. Which then ultimately leads to an unproductive back and forth all because on one of the sides resides the strong desire to keep their world "orderly" and "nice".
One of the greatest things I've ever learned was the art of inquiry. This has provided me with the ability to stop and ask myself when I am feeling most vulnerable, whether or not I have all of the information. Let me give you a really quick shortcut...we never have all of the information. No one, and I mean no one, can ever predict the future or be all-knowing. Although many have come close, that just simply isn't the case, so why not dig a little deeper? For example I see many people incredibly critical of the rioting and protests that are currently going on over George Floyd's death. We are so quick to judge and say that the protestors have no reason to act that way. One of the things I've chosen to do, as a privileged white female, is to educate myself. Today I wanted to dig a little deeper in to the origin of race riots and found some interesting information, for example:
"for many decades, the instigators and participants in race riots were usually white, not black, and the purpose of the rioting was to assert white domination rather than to express black anger and frustration. During Reconstruction and for a while thereafter, race riots often occurred during elections, as white mobs sought to intimidate the newly enfranchised black voters and to regain power from politicians who would give Blacks an equal opportunity in post–Civil War society. Riots in Memphis, Tenn.; New Orleans, La.; Charleston, S.C.; and Eufaula, Ala., led to dozens of African-American deaths." - tolerance.org
Isn't it sad how little has changed? We haven't allowed people to properly express their anger and frustration over extremely horrible acts of racism. White Americans should instead be an ally to the black community by sharing that anger and frustration with them through empathy and understanding, because at the end of the day we will never understand what they have experienced. I do hope that we can come to a place where we as a society see everyone as equals. That we are so in touch with reality that we welcome whatever comes our way. And when something bad does happen, that we don't try to blame it away as something that someone else has inflicted upon us. It's ok to accept that life won't always be presented in that perfect package that we think it's supposed to be in. In my mind, it is not only well within our power to create this kind of change, it is our responsibility.
"Taking responsibility for your beliefs and judgments gives you the power to change them." - Byron Katie
Changing our Consciousness
Our minds are incredibly powerful. Within a fraction of a second they can transport us to somewhere completely different than the environment that we're in. With that being said, our central nervous systems can only process so many things at once. According to studies that Mihaly Csikszentmihalyi, references in his book Flow, "we can manage at most seven bits of information --such as differentiated sounds, or visual stimuli, or recognizable nuances of emotion or thought--at any one time, and that the shortest time it takes to discriminate between one set of bits of information and another is about 1/18 of a second." Which means that there is a lot that is left for our minds to fill in the blanks for, which also tends to be the root of the problem. For this reason a person can make themselves happy or miserable regardless of their external circumstances. In one of my earliest posts I referenced the pie chart of what things determine our happiness. Half of that pie chart is our genetics and 40% is comprised of our thoughts and actions. While the tiniest fraction is comprised of external factors. Changing our mindset and consciousness therefore dictates our happiness.
"Terrible things come from fear." - Shawshank Redemption
However, for many people in this country, they are too busy making sure they survive. The fact that I have been able to focus my attention on savoring for the past three weeks is a luxury that many don't get to experience right now. In an NPR podcast Governor Walz of Minnesota commented on how Minneapolis was voted both the 2nd happiest place in the United States and among the highest ranking states in higher education, personal incomes, home ownerships, and life expectancies. Once you look at that through the lens of the black community in Minnesota however, it is amongst the worst states in the country. As the governor also noted, it is during times like these that the layers are peeled back to reveal the injustices that are still widely prevalent.
If you're like me, you may have been asking yourself all weekend what you could do to effectively spark change. My suggestion is that we all start with your own mindset by redefining your priorities. Studies show that if you are goal setting that the things that you pay attention to will naturally reflect what you are trying to achieve. I can truly say from experience that this is true. Since taking on this final assignment to savor more for a month, I have noticed that I approach even the most mundane things completely differently. No longer do I race through meals, but I take time to appreciate them. When it comes to my relationships I have prioritized being present so that I can enjoy the conversations and savor them more, rather than attempting to multi task while I'm on a call with someone. So I think it's time that we focus on equality, kindness, empathy, well-being, and compassion as a nation. Could you imagine how much could change in even a month's time? I bet that the social landscape would begin to look quite differently...
Resources
https://www.today.com/parents/dad-explains-viral-post-why-he-won-t-walk-alone-t182797
"Flow" by Mihaly Csikszentmihalyi
https://www.tolerance.org/node/112413
https://podcasts.apple.com/us/podcast/npr-news-now/id121493675#episodeGuid=84169333-1e68-4bd9-9618-17d019dde058
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